anonymous and unimportant

i just want to be forgotten

a face you cant put a name to in a sea of dead eyes

anonymous and unimportant

i want to cut myself in dirty basements

and use the dust on the floor 

to clot the wound

take drugs that put holes in my brain

and destroy this temple they pray to

this body, this mind that they need and want

this tool that was never meant to be one in the first place

and ruin it for everyone

i want to heat up knives and brand patterns in my arms

breathe smoke until i pass out or vomit, whichever comes first

put my jugular vein on tap to spirt 10 foot blood spatters

across unclean floors and rooms at my free will

and laugh at the drop in blood pressure

as my head swims and my knees fall to the floor

i want to empty my stomach of nourishment

choke on fragments of wood

atrophied and destroy beyond all recognition

because i hate this thing that i have

that they made into such a commodity

that they deem more precious than gold

just to break it in front of them

and hurt them 

leave them with nothing but the pieces

to remind them of what they had

and what was taken away