mother mercury, look what they've done to me

i want you to hurt

i want you to suffer

i want you to feel ashamed

for being the thing that you hated the most

for slapping a child in the face

when he begged you to stop hitting him

its your fault

the wedge driven between you

the lost holidays and family events

seeing any grand kids

being a part of his life

i want you to regret that and feel that

for the rest of your miserable life

and i want it to eat you alive

and on your death bed be the thing you regret most

i want it to ache at your heart while your body gives out

let it be the last thing on your mind

while current flows through it

be the last word on your last breath

i want you to feel it all

because i have felt it all

and i held it all inside

now its your turn

i want you to feel how black and thick the hate is

i want it to gum up in your veins

i want you to forever feel the guilt of having driven away

something you swore was so precious to you

so everyone can see how cowardly and selfish you really are

you fucking miserable cunt

your flesh is wasted on you

your breath should be reserved for someone elses lungs

i wish i could bottle up your last breath and keep in safe keeping

and yell at is and attack it when i feel miserable

knowing that i hold that

will be enough to satiate my rage

the rage you put in me

the poison you let loose in my veins

this is your fault

you made me violent

and i have no remorse for you anymore

i wish i could attack and abuse you 

the way you abused a child

a creature smaller and weaker

who trusted you for guidance

i wish i could reverse the roles

and really give it back to you

and i would if i could

but i think dying slow and miserable is enough for you

never forget what you did

it will never go away

my contempt for you grows by the year

and if i ever see your fucking face again

i will not hesitate to smash it

until it no longer resembles anything human

fuck you forever

you are hell with a pulse

and i would sever that pulse

to watch evil bleed out before my very eyes

i would bathe in your disintegration

and savor your essence leaving this world

the weight of your dead body

a tool for my muscles to grow stronger

a punching bag

to tune myself into a better, stronger person

and the cheeks on your face

will be slapped and bruised forever

like mine are

from you

happy holidays

go fuck yourself

you failure of a mother

and failure of a human being

rot slowly

die miserable

in your own filth

surrounded by cowards

and leeches

who will strip you of everything

for their own personal gain

once the life leaves your shell

do not rest in peace

lie crooked and uncomfortable

in infinite agony

you cunt