no friends

don't get too close to the things hanging on you

they are not your friends

they come with built in smiles

and the best intentions

and when you give in a bit

they will pull all the blood out of your body

with that smile still so wide on their face

do you want the last thing you see

to be a fake smile

embrace the distance you keep

between people and yourself

wall it up, empty everything

no ones fucking getting in here

the oppressors tell you to stop being paranoid

they try to ease your heart with well placed words

and a manor that makes you trust

but when you're not looking

is when they pull the knife

and slip it between your ribs

it happens every time

they tell me i'm one sided

i only see it one way

i say that i've been where they are

and this is where being that way ends

this is what you have to look forward to

once you break it all down 

and deconstruct it 

you only have one side to view it from

the side that makes the most sense to you

you can't live your life playing both sides

chose a side, stand your ground

dig your roots in for once in your life if you've got the guts

your ability to buy a house and pop out a kid

does not make you a man

your ability to impregnate an ugly girl and settle for less

because it was easier that way

and she was already down and out

to me thats whats really sad

so you don't like your life

or the way it turned out for you

cause you never really had any guts to do it on your own

sit in your basement

designing mediocrity for the fools and their troths

every time i try to bend and fold

i am just taught another lesson on why i shouldn't do that

i am onto something pure

and the screw heads will do everything to take that away from me

don't bend, don't consider if they're right

the truth will out so don't worry about it so much

in the end, we have no friends

just people we can stand being around

they will talk behind your back

about what you're doing wrong

never considering

what they don't know

the information that they don't yet have

never considering a method to your madness

i will swallow all of you whole

none of you has ever made a bit of difference

and when i drop you like the scraps of paper that you are

you will fall down to your knees

in tears

feeling sorry for yourselves

cause how else are you gonna get your fix

im just a fix to you

a rush of endorphins

you feed off my insanity

like a television show

like an action movie

but to me its real

and im not fucking laughing

i will leave you all with nothing

in the end

you will all be burned

Luu

Why don't I kill myself? 

For Shaun luu

He didn't get to have a life

His got snubbed out before he really even knew life at all

So I live mine for Shaun

I didn't want mine in the first place

So he can have it

I'm doing this for him 

Cause he was better at it

And he loved deeper

And felt more

And I'm just trying to make him proud 

you play in a band, right?

I hate when people at work find out that I've been on your and I play in bands. It's always a thousand questions of things they have no idea about and don't understand the answers too. 

Yes I sleep in vans and other peoples houses. 

No I'm not rich and famous. 

No I don't play for beer tickets and pretzels, I need protein and good food on tour when I can eat. 

Yes sometimes I go day increments without eating so we can get to the next town sometimes. 

No there is no money in music. 

I still do it because it's the only thing in the entire world that brings me any kind of joy. 

It doesn't make sense to the average video game playing, computer nerd thirty year old but to me the way they live is a hollow existence void of excitement or purpose. That isn't living, that's being dead already. Losing yourself in a virtual world because you don't have the guts to actually have something in your life that isn't in a video game or in the confines of your lowly apartment. 

carbon copy

they say imitation is the highest form of flattery

but do you see me fucking smiling

you never had a chance in hell before you met me

and then you used me as leverage to get a leg up

you climb the rungs like they were heading for the sky

but then you saw how far you had to crawl

theres nothing up there

just space and dust

and it wasn't what you expected it to be

you cannot find yourself

so you faked an image by shadowing me

but a copy's never pure as the original 

the ink will run and the details will get washed out

i know what you're doing

and i don't fucking like it

i am onto you in every fucking way

and when i get my hands around your worthless throat

we will see who can do what they can say

i don't have to talk

i don't have to bark loud so that they wont know the fear i have inside

you never had any guts

just a scared little boy

a chronic case of peter pan 

who just wont grow the fuck up

this is not an image for me

this is who i am, darkness and all

i wont hesitate

they will never fucking find you

where i leave you to rot away

a man is measured not by the violence

but the distance he is willing to go

and you have been stuck in that same pathetic rut

when all you have to do is put your legs down under you

and walk away

stop feeding off of me

its poisoning you

you don't have what it takes to be like me

you can take the pills

courage in a bottle

but when the high wears off

your still just as scared and soft inside

pathetic

you're pathetic

you're a miserable little carbon copy of a man

so you can throw a fit

big fucking deal

the world doesn't owe you a thing

you got left behind

just like everyone else

because thats all you will ever be

you don't have what it takes to shine

to rise above it all and become something more

you're just noise and bone

a little whelp of a man

and you cant make your arms big enough

to push out the pain

you did this all to yourself

and you continue to let it keep you down

you've never done anything

you've never been anywhere

and theres a reason you don't have anyone in your life

you say you want it this way

but i can smell a lie

and you're as lonely as the god up in the sky

you'll never be like me

you'll never have what it takes

you couldn't even walk a mile in my shoes

you couldn't deal with a day in the life of me

carbon copy

carbon copy