practice what you preach

  i've seen the most narrow of minds of my generation throw a symbol up and pray to it. i hear them laugh and scoff at the people who believe in God, but they are another appendage of the same hand. 

  i've witnessed complete wastes of life, pieces of shit who have no sort of value or regard for anything in life yet they preach a message of drug free youth and pray to their beloved "X" trying to convince me and the rest of the world that they are a better person than i or anyone else just because they have obstained from substances, yet i see them indulge and addict themselves to things just the same. maybe not with drugs and alcohol, but with sex, with lies, with money, with fame. i've seen them delude themselves into thinking that its any different than obsessing over a drug high, than it is a natural chemical high. 

  people who demonize the act of getting high, these adrenaline junkies will put themselves at great personal danger just to get high off their bodies own natural chemicals. don't pretend that you aren't a junky just because you don't put a substance in your body. no, you merely fuck with your body into such intensity that it releases its own natural opiates and you get your "fix". 

  

  lets set the record straight. you are not a better person. you surround yourself with people who will help you keep up the charade cause theres strength and safety in numbers. when you want to lie to yourself, the best way to do it is to include your friends. you can be proud of yourself all you want for staying sober in the standard way, but you are a slave and pathetic in other ways. 

  these people are the first to preach sobriety and honor and are also the first to turn to violence, another addiction that leads to adrenaline addiction. violence is your gateway drug, dopamine is your opiate. 

  drink your caffeine, take your supplements and rip fuel to work out harder at the gym, to stroke your ego and lie to yourself that these are healthy alternatives. its no better or worse and you are basing your entire belief system on false pretenses. all addictions have disastrous consequences, and eventually your macho bullshit will eat you too. 

  straight edge is like communism. it works in theory, but when put into action by humans it is misconstrued and abused, and eventually it blows up in your face. this hitler youth, straight edge movement began as something pure and today it is a microcosm of nazism, stalinism, marxism, throw and ism you want at it. this has all happened before and you are too stupid to see it. i'm sure some of you have actually come to this realization on your own, but are too scared to entertain the idea or even bring it up to your peers. you do not question straight edge, you do not question your faith, your religion, your god. you fall in line and obey. you do what the good book tells you. you are just another sheep in the flock, just on another field, in another plain. 

vultures

im so sick of all these sniveling, all bark no bite, self involved shit heads in syracuse. any sense of community or pride that i once believed in is dead. every last one of you fucks makes me sick to my stomach and i hope you die here where you belong, back stabbing each other, fuck each others girlfriends, stealing and lying to each other. you are all no better than the dirt you walk on, and when you're life turns to shit, or it already has, and you wonder why, just think back on all the shitty things you've ever done, or how many times you got on your safe and sound computer and acted like you had a  spine at all. 

whatever happened to DONT TAKE SHIT FROM ANYBODY. now everyone is so politically correct and quick to throw the non violence card whenever anyone actually tries to correct a wrong. you are all what is wrong with your lives and you only have yourselves to blame. no matter how much you smile in public, and claim to love all of your so called friends but would roll them over for a dime. you aren't fooling anyone and theres a reason you keep getting fucked over and left for dead. BECAUSE YOU ARE A TERRIBLE PERSON. you have no regard for the consequences and you still think cause it worked for you in high school that it will continue to work for the rest of your life. there comes a point in time where you can no longer skate through life and you meet a fucking wall called REALITY. 

you are not my friends, and i am not yours. do not try to talk to me. do not try to get to know me. we do not share the same community, we do not share the same air. a foot long perimeter around me is mine at all times and if you step into that i will feed you your teeth no matter who or what you are, from now on. i don't want to even have any of you step into my line of sight for fear that i may have to vomit. 

i hope this city burns to the fucking ground and you have to suffer watching your children die in front of your eyes. that is what you deserve. that is what you have coming to you. your life is empty and meaningless and it always has been, and no matter of tattoo's or piercings or hair dye will change that. you can wear a mask all you want but eventually its gotta come off and you gotta come up for air, and that is when we will be waiting to point you out for the piece of shit that you are. 

you are all shapes and scenery to me now. you have no content. you are hallow. i will not regard you with the respect of a fellow human being because in my 30 years of living here, i haven't known any of you to even be a human being. i hope the weight of your guilt and shame drags your body down slowly like it did your grandparents and you die with regret cause that is exactly where you people are heading. no one will come to visit you. no one wants to be around you. 

i'll devote my time to the few who have proven they are worth it. the rest of you are ants for the crushing, and that is a promise. there will be no more talking it out. you are on the other side of the line now, and killing you or ignoring you would feel just the same to me. you have no idea what it is to feel unsafe and in danger cause you insulated your shitty little lives around liars and people who would nurture that kind of bad behavior. trust me, if you want a yard stick to measure yourself out, i'll be that yard stick. come and see what you are made of, or better yet, come and see what i am capable of. 

you fucking cowards. 

die a prolonged and relentlessly agonizing death. 

dregs

abandon these people and their world. stick to things that matter most. you are smarter than this. be smarter. show the initiative first and influence in a positive light. turn off the noise. it only distracts you. keep your head in the game and play to your strengths. let the fools bury themselves in the weight of their sniveling and backstabbing. those are not your people. those are not your friends. those are the dregs of the earth and they congregate to draw blood and gnash their teeth at each other.

i have no sympathy at all

im tired of the guilty trying to pull sleight of hand and lay the blame somewhere else  when it actually is on them. no one holds a gun to your head. your track record speaks for itself. i've asked around about you, i've done the research, it always comes back to the same thing; your refusal to learn from your mistakes. 

i don't even know why i get myself involved, partly cause i enjoy stating the obvious when people try so hard to cover up and mask the original topic. i see through the bullshit and i don't hesitate to make it known. it doesn't solve anything really, but it does out people for who they really are and i am able to remove them from my reality tunnel. its just part of the process of growing up, i guess. not everyone gets there right along with you. some of them just lay down in the path and let the darkness have them. 

i am not my brothers/sisters keeper.