littered fields

just one more night

is all i'll give it

before i cut this fucker out

this beating bullshit inside my chest

is driving me fucking insane

ive got a missing piece of skin

for every fucking stupid thing anyone has ever 

said to me

it wont get easier

it wont feel better in the end

we all just lie to ourselves

until it doesnt hurt

until we forget

or medicate the pain

too obsessive

and over compulsive

and always ready to beat myself up

I watch the stars

Rise above the Horizon

Taking you on

Like a tyrant against millions of humans

dead 

weight

Just one night I want to lie

Alone and not care

i cant move this,       

overwhelming,       

feeling of guilt,      

off of my chest

null and void

im not commited

to a  happy ending

throw the fucking fantasy away

we'll be coughing up our lungs

crying 

so hard for you

so lets have it over with

i guess a promise is a promise

me, im the sucker that sticks to his word

lets do this right

shouldnt have said it

if you didnt mean it

you can argue all you want

i can feel my blood pressure

boiling in my nerves

(you) latched on to me

like a cancer

like a fawn

broken leg

in the woods

wont get up and try

i refuse to be your crutch

make your peace with yourself

i cannot live my life

dragging yours

on my back

(its gonna be a hard year)

she cant shake the beauty 

off her face

cant make peace with 

the way

she

looks

overbearing

and unbridled

need to fix

everything at once

you cant

teach someone

how to thicken

their skin

how do i

organize 

this mess im involved in

syracuse music scene

im spitting venom in all your eyes

just hoping to get to one of you fuckers before these walls close in

this is over right now

whos calling the shots? i want them front and center

so i can swallow them whole

every face i see in the crowd is another piece of fucking scenery

just the usual local trash that sucks on the tit, trying to be a part of the glory

pathetic comes to mind

i wish i could weed this like a garden

only of my chosing, take the good and leave the bad to wither and dry in the sun

it looks like cancer, the way the black fills in the edges

and your stupid fucking eyes are always staring at me

looking like your wondering what im gonna do next 

so you can make your judgements and talk amongst your friends

your safety in numbers will only work for so long

cause cowards get theres in the end, and i have a long history of holding grudges

i have many scars, from many thorns in both my sides

and i can name every single one, with date, time, and occurrence.

im taking everything you love apart seam by seam

because you people have taken the love and the passion out of everything i ever had

this was the only thing keeping me from falling off

and you had to throw your bullshit around it, to make it your own

you had to exploit this one pink area of an otherwise grey town

dont come around me anymore

the exits signs are pointing at you

stay far away from me and the places i am

cause i will seep discomfort into every second you are around

im better at this than you will ever be

im smarter than you will ever get

im a better person, and i know how to weed through the bullshit

but you just jumped right in and bathed in it

just soaked up all the souless dribble out there, and tried to throw a glaze on it and give it a sticker of approval

even shit looks good incased in glass

any good lighting can make a good photograph of an otherwise dull scene

this is it, and i cant take it anymore

you are all fucking dead to me, in every way possible

i quit. im done with your antics, im done ignoring the cheap shots

your all a bunch of lame little bitches who discovered something elite to be a part of 

so you could have something above everyone else that "didnt belong"

because never in your life have you ever belonged

but now that you have something to call your own, with people who bloat and stroke your ego

you take that shit you felt and turn it on the same people your supposed to be in this with

check your ego at the door

where popping balloon heads in this establishment

your actions will not be tolerated anymore

you pissy pants little chip on your shoulder is tired and old

and its time to do something about feeling better about yourself

or fucking kill yourself

cause no one is going to care either way

no one gives a fuck about your opinion

they just want to hear you shut up about it and stop being hostile around them

im calling every one of you out

talk your shit

get it out while you can

cause im going to make you regret every word you ever said

we layed these bricks with our tears and our pain

and you just waltz inside like you've earned a fucking say

cause you wear the outfit and you know the words the all the songs

fuck you

your a usurper

youre the kind of people we've been trying to fight off our entire lives

youre a wolf in sheeps clothing

respect is earned by honest people to honest people

and you have no fucking heart

youre completely transparent and you are not wanted here anymore

seasonally affective

you would think by now

at 25

i would overcome

all the whining

quick to medicate but

im not getting better

if i could have one thing that i ask for

it would be to never have to feel like this again

years wasted believeing, oh the world is so deceiving

i just want to feel some peace before it ends

but life is so precious

yea fucking right

were kings of the trash heap

but we dress it up in a disguise

should not have to pull the fucking trigger

or walk through this life dragging anchors

i will leave you with nothing, all on your own

i dare you to try to find the point in this

i dare you to try to find the point in this

you would think by now

at 25

i would overcome

all the whining

quick to medicate but

im not getting better

if i could have one thing that i ask for

it would be to never have to feel like this again

years wasted believeing, oh the world is so deceiving

i just want to feel some peace before it ends

the truth isnt worth it

feeling dead inside again

the stomach pains, a reminder

never do this again

ive never been good at listening to reason

somewhere she cries into her pillow

and i wish i could make her feel even worse

to strap her down and let out every bitter word

snap her sense of self worth

and break down everything she ever built up

bastards act in such ways

cowards only dream of it

the person i should be blaming

wont look at me in the mirror

the wind blows cold against the house

and it makes my bones ache

i pull the shades as the sun is coming

up over the horizon

in this dark i can hate myself

and not have to worry about being caught

im tired of living the truth

when everyone wants the lie

nothing feels like home

when youre the only one to admit it

the days fade into each other

more and more people turn away

and you are left alone with the truth

you fought tooth and nail for it

and you hold it like a crown

on your throne of nothing

with no one around

and you have to live with the fact

that it wasnt fucking worth it

a moat of fools

i reject

i resent

all of you people will never make sense to me

all of you people will never be friends to me

you take and you take and you give back in small doses

like giving back rain drops when owing me oceans

trying to make me feel bad that i feel this way

trying to talk down your portion of my slow decay

look at the stress cracks, look what you helped destroy

but its easy when you can walk away with your fixed toys

the things i can do are a curse and a burden

so i attack and i yell, and all of you deserve it

like holding my head underwater with regret on your face

cause someone has to take it so we all can be saved

small man, big whine

fuck you, small man

big shots take small pot shots 

and end up right back where they started

you don't have what it takes

and you need to throw your insults

to try to ease your heart

but nothing is going to phase me

and we all have your number

we all see right through you

and we can all see the damaged child

that you are trying to make us believe is a man

i've dealt with your abuse

and your aggression for years

hoping you'd come around someday

but we're only getting older

and you are only getting worse

i wash my hands of you

i am the better man of the two of us

and you will never cut me down

i can take everything you're throwing

and i will never be the one underneath

i am smart, capable, and better in all the ways

that you are not

our days are coming to an end

and you only have yourself to blame

i don't need you anymore

you've attacked my character twice

you will not get a third

you will die alone

from heart failure

in a room, alone

surrounded by your own filth

with yourself to blame

you were a terrible friend

and you were terrible to the people who loved you

i have given you enough chances

and i have my final answer

i've made my decision

i don't have time for 30 year old children

throwing temper tantrums

grow up, buck up

get your head out of your ass

i have no more use for you in my life

my presence is a privilege

you just lost that

sucker

people are poison

i've been being poisoned for way too long

kept sick by people i trusted

to use me for my talents

and keep their lives enriched

while i slowly die

the sleeper has woken up

and you are all fucked

the people you trust

the ones closest to you

that you have known for the longest

and sometimes felt like you wore each others skin

will sometimes show their true colors

and be someone that is detrimental to your health

and slowly destroying you

i am a smart and capable man

i can make it rain

and the fools of this world

have strength in numbers

and have kept me down

im cutting all of you out of me

one by one

and i don't care who i hurt

cause no one cared when it hurt me

time for everyone to wear their own big boy pants

and stay the fuck out of mine

i wont help you any longer

you get what you put in

and there is no longer a well to take from

your free resources are dried up

and you only have yourselves to blame

so forgive me if i roll my eyes

at your lame attempts to chastise me

at your desperate grasping at straws

to keep me down

and make me stay

now the guilt is on you

and you have to live with yourself

and the mess you made

welcome to real life

you don't get to treat people this way

and not expect consequences

we are all slowly figuring you out

and man what a disappointment you turned out to be

i will leave you with nothing

you're all on your own

coward