i kept trying to come to a realization of why she still turns my stomach. why the mention of her name or her coming up in conversation just burned by blood. finally i understand it, she's so phony. she's completely fake and hollow, and it pisses me off cause i was fooled. i saw glimpses of it but i was in too deep and far to close to see it for what it is. now i realize, everything she ever said, any cause she ever stood for, every moving word that ever came out of her mouth wasn't true. it was all a costume, a play, a mask she wore, because inside she's nothing. she has no content, she has no personality, she is nothing without pretending to be someone or something else. i have been closer than most and i have seen it first hand and now i realize just how fake she is and how much lies she spreads around. she has everyone convinced and it pisses me off cause my friends are buying the lie. she has a lot of people fooled and it's just sad, and stupid. mostly, i'm angry because she fooled me, but she played that game better than anyone i have ever seen, and i don't like to be fooled, but i am no game player. i was honest from the get go, and i still hold true to everything i ever stood for. if you're reading this, you are a phony, and you are a liar. you should carve that into your arm one more time cause your father was right. you are so fake that it sickens me. it sickens me that we were ever together and that i let you drain me of everything i had, just to keep you safe. i will not make that mistake again. you are dismissed.