what you are is lonely

it still makes the heart flutter

don't deny it

it still has the possibility to bring you to your knees

if you indulge the thought long enough

you will find yourself in a ball on the floor

all these scars, all these notches in the bed post

former lovers we wear with such baggage

carrying bricks on our backs

they fill your head with thoughts of "the one" from birth

all those songs

all those movies

filled with romancing relationships

and making you believe that being in love is magical 

and is an end to all your troubles

i have scars inside me that are debilitating

only from being in love

i still wake up screaming and shake myself to sleep

i still have dreams about them

i still get sick to my stomach knowing that there is a "them" and not just a "her"

there is no "one"

there is only those who wander into your life

and when they go away, and they will, just let them go

trying to hang on when its clear that its time for them to go

will only harm you more

sometimes, no matter how much you both want to make it work

no matter how much you want to hold on to the care that you have for each other

you just cant get past your egos

you just cant get past your hurt feelings, your resentment

the negative feelings you have will outweigh your positive feelings every time

and you will destroy what you had

you will have to sit there and watch

while that beautiful pure thing you created together

withers and the color drains out of it

you will not be able to look away

you will have to see it happen, right down to the last drop

and feel every painful, excruciating feeling as it passes through you

you will have to cry, and vomit, and your stomach will hurt

this is the reality of love

its much like playing with fire

it can be very exciting and beautiful

if you don't treat it with respect and responsibility

it will burn you alive and destroy you

all those lovers that i can bring to mind

all those names that hurt so bad i just want to carve them into my skin

just to feel it physically as well as mentally

all those songs i wrote

all those feelings that made me drop to the ground

pen in hand

all the pills i've ever had to look at in the palm of my hand

and pretend i am swallowing them away

nothing ever prepared me for that

nothing ever could

it still hurts, not as much, but its still there

it never goes away

it makes you grow up

but it pulls the innocence right out of your heart

you will never have a scar like you have when you heal from that

it will leave you a bit more twisted, a bit more damaged

and after all of that

you will try it again

cause we are slaves to our hearts

and humans cannot be alone

humans are all empty inside

and the only thing that fills it up

is someone else

tiny liars

im not impressed or convinced

just because you can sniff each others asses

and sell each other the idea

that shit doesn't stink

doesn't give you a better result or solution

than that one i came to

im tired of the sound of your insignificant voice

vibrating in my ear

rubbing on every nerve and carving away at all resolve

the attack wont come on fast

it will be slow and subtle

and you wont know whats happening until its too late

and you are already half in the body bag

iike tiny dogs, yipping at the air

when all it would take 

is one swift act of rage

and all that would be left is a red mist in the air

where the body used to be

it is nothing short of pure torture just being around

and having to constantly maneuver through your bullshit

and my fists itch like they need to get some killing done

your life isn't precious

your existence is a result of mouth breathers with bad genes

rubbing their crotches together too much

and we got landed with you

i have no sympathy 

i have no connection to you as a fellow human

you are in the way

you are just another thing thats wrong with the equation

you are the essential that is stripped away to find the real underneath

you are the smudge on the canvas

the world removes you

you are waste

and im tired of your kind playing on our sympathies

get out of my way

or im coming through you

ants

i remove myself from your equation

i divorce myself from this mistake

these people aren't my friends

they look, they talk, they move ilke me

but somehow i just know

that they are not who i am

i am in a crowd of carbon copies

master manipulators who are trying to convince me

that everything is fine

when i can feel that something is very wrong here

i keep calm, stay quiet

i look for the tiny exits

watch for the moments when they aren't watching the doors

and i wait until its time

all it takes is one pure moment and im gone

im surrounded by the dregs of the litter

the parts you throw away

i cant help but feel disconnected

these people have nothing to offer me

i hear their voices in my ears

and it attaches itself

right to the button that flips on my anger

and i am ready to destroy

you don't take pity in the destruction of fools

you don't feel sorry for the ants you step on

i cannot sit here one more second and pretend

that these people aren't making my skin crawl

that these people aren't making me want to end their pathetic existence

that i am not fighting with all i have inside

to not resort to violence

and show them how cold and ugly

the reality really is

theres no one protecting you

only people who haven't yet snapped

and destroyed you

you are protected by the resolve of people

not wanting to be locked up

but the fact remains

all of us feel it

and all of us want our view clear of you