what you are is lonely

it still makes the heart flutter

don't deny it

it still has the possibility to bring you to your knees

if you indulge the thought long enough

you will find yourself in a ball on the floor

all these scars, all these notches in the bed post

former lovers we wear with such baggage

carrying bricks on our backs

they fill your head with thoughts of "the one" from birth

all those songs

all those movies

filled with romancing relationships

and making you believe that being in love is magical 

and is an end to all your troubles

i have scars inside me that are debilitating

only from being in love

i still wake up screaming and shake myself to sleep

i still have dreams about them

i still get sick to my stomach knowing that there is a "them" and not just a "her"

there is no "one"

there is only those who wander into your life

and when they go away, and they will, just let them go

trying to hang on when its clear that its time for them to go

will only harm you more

sometimes, no matter how much you both want to make it work

no matter how much you want to hold on to the care that you have for each other

you just cant get past your egos

you just cant get past your hurt feelings, your resentment

the negative feelings you have will outweigh your positive feelings every time

and you will destroy what you had

you will have to sit there and watch

while that beautiful pure thing you created together

withers and the color drains out of it

you will not be able to look away

you will have to see it happen, right down to the last drop

and feel every painful, excruciating feeling as it passes through you

you will have to cry, and vomit, and your stomach will hurt

this is the reality of love

its much like playing with fire

it can be very exciting and beautiful

if you don't treat it with respect and responsibility

it will burn you alive and destroy you

all those lovers that i can bring to mind

all those names that hurt so bad i just want to carve them into my skin

just to feel it physically as well as mentally

all those songs i wrote

all those feelings that made me drop to the ground

pen in hand

all the pills i've ever had to look at in the palm of my hand

and pretend i am swallowing them away

nothing ever prepared me for that

nothing ever could

it still hurts, not as much, but its still there

it never goes away

it makes you grow up

but it pulls the innocence right out of your heart

you will never have a scar like you have when you heal from that

it will leave you a bit more twisted, a bit more damaged

and after all of that

you will try it again

cause we are slaves to our hearts

and humans cannot be alone

humans are all empty inside

and the only thing that fills it up

is someone else