shambles

it doesn't matter that im falling apart

as long as it looks maintainable

as long as i carry on the charade

enough to where you don't feel obligated

to ask if im ok

as long as i keep producing

one arm cutting off the other

one hand nails the other to the ground

this is all im worth

it doesn't matter that i have never felt ok

its just the way i am

its easier to believe that

so you don't have to worry

what will it take

to finally break

to be the beam that brings this fucker down

the years only add bitterness

my anger matures like wine

i'll burn a hole in your stomach

i can't feel anything anymore

but this unending eager ache 

that calls to me in my sleep

to finally lose what grip i have

and venture out into the unexplored

to never come back