suburban guilt

its a cold, empty feeling
when you have to make an effort not to end yourself
you take the pills, but the pills don't work
they only buy you time
time runs out eventually

and you hear the people
they tell you its not worth it
you know they are probably right
but it doesn't stop the urge

from a heart that's sick of beating
and a brain that's sick of thinking
and the world looks bleaker everyday
the people in your life who you hold most dear
don't seem to change your mind one bit

cause they may care about you, but they dont
have to live your life
they don't have to wake up to the cynicism you feel everyday
there's only so much you can do
to try to stoke the fire
to try to wake the content within you

but sometimes nothing does it
and there you are with the numbness sitting beside you
and following you around
i dont feel anything
i just want the boredom to end
hope is an instant, and gone just as quick
love is a lie we tell ourselves