faith gone faster than it arrived

It's funny how quick you lose your faith in people

When compared to the amount of time it took

For you to have any faith at all

There's gotta be some sort of under lined truth in that

Something everyone has really got wrong all along

All it really takes is a handful of people

Doing things you would never expect them to do

And only thinking of themselves

No matter who they hurt

People you think you can count on, at least them 

And that's all it takes

Till you're just ok with their blood on your hands

With the scared looks in their eyes

When you no longer see them as people you care about

But as obstacles in the way of your peace of mind

My mind is clearer now

I see it all 20/20

I'll keep it all to myself

Cause none of you are even worth it in the first place

Users

All that glitters is used and mistreated

That is one of the noble truths of this world

If you have something special

Something that just occurs in you naturally

They will try to use you

And misguide you

For their own means

No matter what it does to you

Raw talent is commodity 

And is ready for exploitation

This is the reality

And it's sad and lonely

People are users

Anything more is just bi products

They use till death and that's the truth

misanthropy and agony

And I find myself mad at God

For the existence of a thing like contradiction

How it's present in all men and women

For the fact that we aren't perfect

For the truth being so fucking ugly

And always right in front of our faces

For the existence of chemical imbalances

For such a flawed existence

For the fact that respect among men is only earned

When they can't best each other

For the reason I know this and little to no one around me does

i think that the grip is slipping. people are starting to wake up on their own. people are really getting tired of the monotony of what you're told to do. we're so enslaved that we fall in line out of habit, when you ingrain the rule so deep in the subconscious that it feels bad to break it thats when you really got them snared. i think that after all these years though, the shackles are being shed and people are mutating, evolving into something else. no one is happy because there is something definitely wrong. the truth will out eventually, its just a matter of time. you can bury it deep in a ton of shit and it will take a while to dig it out, but the truth will outlive you and the truth will unearth itself eventually, and there will be hell to pay.

i see desperate souls everywhere i look. all these people that are just looking for some purpose but there really isn't much around, just table scraps here and there, and it gets annoying and you start crawling out of your skin. theres gotta be a reason to it all, when they know damn well there isn't. the line you've been waiting in for years is not the answer you are looking for. they told you it was, but they lied to you. im sorry, but its time to move on. you are free, you don't have to stand in this line anymore. there is nothing at the end of it, at least nothing thats of any value to it, and it wont make the waiting all worth it. you will feel cheated and used and angry because you wasted your whole life, and spent all the time that you had waiting with everyone else in the great line. step out of line. do your own thing. go the other way. it doesn't matter anymore, nothing matters. all that matters is that you find yourself your own little piece of happiness. in the end, its all dust anyway. so slow down, take time to taste the air and breathe a full lungs worth. thats whats important. you can breathe. you can take in a full lung of air and it feels really good. everything else is just essentials. 

had a moment

they're quoting my lyrics now. i dunno, i guess you just feel like a nerd who sits in his room and fantasizes. you never actually think anything will come of it. then you see it, in plain black and white, right in front of your face. the message was received. they get it. they understand what you are trying to say. after not being understood for so long and having everything you say misconstrued and taken out of context you just start to lose faith that anyone will ever understand you, then you stumble on to a friend quoting your lyrics on his facebook page and he's referring to a girl he met recently. i dont even really know what to say about it. there's no words for once. its what i've always wanted really, to have an emotion identified, to share something that feels so personal and weird and unique that you think people would think you were crazy if you just blurted it out and told them, so you put it in a song cause thats the only way you can get it out cause when it sits inside you like that it just fucks you up. you can't even breathe right cause it sits in your chest. the song needs to get out and if it doesnt it just fucks up your day. it will not be pushed down. so, anyway, you write the song, you get the emotion out, the feeling of how you were feeling on that day, that time, that moment, and you hope you did it justice and put it down in art form the right way, you hope you got it right to transfer the feeling to a medium, and then you send it away and someone receives it, gets it right off the bat, feels the feeling, knows exactly the emotion you are feeling, feels it too, equates it to someone in his life and has that same feeling. that to me is fucking insane. you cannot pay me enough money to make me stop doing that. there isnt enough money or food or treasures in the world more beautiful than that. holy fuck i seriously am emotional over his. i never really thought about it like this. i never though "what if they get it." its a fault on my part cause i never prepared myself for how i would feel if they actually got it. i guess i always consider my words and my lyrics to fall on deaf ears cause it does for so many people. well, i guess i was wrong. they get it. its getting out there and these songs are potent and real. holy fuck is that heavy. 

cucumber melon

take your sweet time

just be there for me

you're all that i have now

thats all i'll ever need

didn't notice the feeling

kinda feel into each others arms

ready or not

promise not to do each other harm

we are all before you

just be here with me

we all stand before you

just please believe in me

i put you out of my mind now

those thoughts don't do me any good

goddamn you're so perfect

i'd wait for you, you know i would

but i can feel you inside now

it slowly makes a space for you

why are you walking away

no one else can love you like i do

we are all before you

just be here with me

we all stand before you

just please believe in me

curves that could kill a man

amen

i don't have a reason for you to be in love with me

take your sweet time

just be there for me

we are all before you

just be here with me

we all stand before you

just please believe in me

curves that could kill a man

amen

i don't have a reason for you to be in love with me

fall like love

only

if i had a way to get close to you

if i had something left to hold onto

maybe this wouldn't be so hard

im giving it all away

im trying my best to be patient

im doing what has to be done

but these feelings just wont stay down

and you're all around me

what do i have to do

anything you want me to

everything all for you

just let me be with you

i get so lonely it hurts to breathe in

i get so tired of them always leaving

im such a fool for you

i got it bad for you

im such a mess without this in my life

everything goes away

i wish that you would stay

theres such a hole in me

im so empty

what do i have to do

anything you want me to

everything all for you

just let me be with you

i get so lonely it hurts to breathe in

i get so tired of them always leaving

wherever you are

i need you now

more than i ever have

ever have