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I stopped wanting people, with any passion, in my thirties

I stopped trying to recreate the fantasy over and over

And just let things be what they are

Slightly disappointing and average

I stopped looking for kisses that made my heart flutter

Just kisses the wont run away in fear

I made my peace with how broken all of this is

I realized that my appetites were unquenchable

And it's not fair to ask that of another person

I realized that chasing the high is not just reserved for drugs

But for relationships too

I have never found a bottom to the well inside of me

I keep swimming down there but it just keeps going

But I have sure bottomed out on the well inside other people

I was born a social animal, yes

I am still a human

But something changed inside of me

My idea of social is a far greater distance

Than anyone elses idea

I like you just fine, over there

With a couple of yards between us

Where I can't smell your fear

Where I can't watch your thoughts turn

Like clockwork in your head

Where you can't hear me talk to myself

The only true friend I'll ever have

Where you have to raise your voice to ask me questions

Where things can get lost in translation

Always a slight distance, always space

People get too close and they break things

Punch holes in my walls, break my heart

Those days are over now

No more letting them inside

I stopped needing them that much

I stopped feeling that way about them

I stopped caring much at all