the truth isnt worth it

feeling dead inside again
the stomach pains, a reminder
never do this again
ive never been good at listening to reason

somewhere she cries into her pillow
and i wish i could make her feel even worse
to strap her down and let out every bitter word
snap her sense of self worth
and break down everything she ever built up

bastards act in such ways
cowards only dream of it
the person i should be blaming
wont look at me in the mirror

the wind blows cold against the house
and it makes my bones ache
i pull the shades as the sun is coming
up over the horizon
in this dark i can hate myself
and not have to worry about being caught

im tired of living the truth
when everyone wants the lie
nothing feels like home
when youre the only one to admit it
the days fade into each other
more and more people turn away
and you are left alone with the truth

you fought tooth and nail for it
and you hold it like a crown
on your throne of nothing
with no one around
and you have to live with the fact
that it wasnt fucking worth it