Seeping Cracks

It's hard, sometimes, to remember you're still alive
When everyone ignores you
When no one acknowledges your presence
Or looks you in the eye
Strange things happen to the mind

Sit inside yourself long enough
And the outside world doesn't seem worth going back out into
All the horrors of the times
Running rampant and unrestricted
The worst of all junkies
Have a nation of their own
Dogs whimper and cry out in pain
Bones with decaying flesh still on them
Taught and covered in flies

The flowers smell nice but they are still just growing among the weeds
Death is not the problem
Death is a friend
Death is a relief from suffering
Life is, and has always been, the problem

Solid Grey

Everyday I wake up sad and angry
I open my eyes to ache and misery
My muscles argue with me
My chemicals imbalance
The urge to curl into a ball and cry
Is always present
I force myself, through sheer will, to get up
To pull dirty clothes on my ravaged body
To put one foot in front of the other
And try to suppress this feeling
I never wanted any of this
I had no desire for a long life
It was over, for me, not long
After it began
No house, no wife
No picket fence and a dog
No future for my kind
Just a man sized grave
For my eventual bones
I never had it in me to care
I was cursed with a sight beyond sight
To see through the veil
And see it for what it really is
Smoke and mirrors
The only reason I am not dead yet
Is because someone else would be devastated
If I were dead
I cannot hurt someone else
So I hurt myself instead
I remain in agony
To appease other people
Sometimes I’m not sure who’s the bigger coward

Dirtgrub

Your opinion is worth shit to me.
You don’t have the IQ enough
to have an opinion.
Keep your unsolicited counterfeit two cents to yourself
and the rest of the morons stupid enough to listen to you.
You want to start a war,
I’ll bring an entire ocean of warships down on your fucking head.
No one knows there place anymore
Step a toe out of line and you will eat the very ground beneath that line
I’ll feed you to the fucking dogs
You’re gonna learn respect if i have to carve it on your fucking tomb stone
No wash up fucking bitch is gonna tell me up from down
When the gloves come off
And this beast gets out of his cage
I’ll have you drowning in your own tears
You haven’t had a nightmare in your life that can hold a candle to me
Shut your worthless fucking mouth
Lesser people get treated like lesser people
And when you get to big for your britches I will cut you the fuck down like every asshole before you
Try and take me on
Bigger and badder motherfuckers have tried
And all of them failed
The fact that I am even standing here
Is a testament to my strength
And you couldn’t last an hour in what I’ve been through
Know your role
Sit the fuck down
And keep your lips together
Cause nothing that comes from them when they part
Is of any consequence to real life
Here’s a lesson you apparently have to learn the hard way
You’ll need me
Before I ever fucking need you

Plate Tectonics

​

Had to steal a minute just to get some time to myself

Just need to breath and let myself adjust to the pressure

Everything is so hectic and rushed in the morning

It takes me at least an hour to catch up

I'm so tired of feeling like this

Thirty four years

And still such a rotten existence

It's never gone away

There was no truth to be found

It's all just empty space

I'm forced into slave labor

With morons who can barely tie their shoes

Dead eyes and drunken hearts

Anger you can smell in the air

But they all want to be your friend

Keep your enemies close, they say

I don't want to know any of these people

The more I learn about them

The more disgusted I feel

Learning where the bad in them

Finally reared its head, in their lives

Where being a louse had overstayed it's comfort

And real life showed up

The way they handled it

Or let it mangle them

Is where the lines are drawn

Worthless flesh on bones

Dry rot and hollow through

Your lives and watching you live them

Are the cause for my stomach pains

Are the reason I cringe to get out of bed in the morning

All these years later

I still feel so trapped

Snowflakes

​

Gather arm in arm in public places

March on some stupid cause

To make yourselves feel better and nurse your sore ego

Sign petition after petition

And swallow it down

When nothing changes

And your tears haven't moved a single thing

Voice your stupid opinion

Like you're smart enough to have one at all

Sing your outrage as the shock and awe culture stirs it's ugly pot one more time

And hide from the fact that you're all going home empty handed

With nothing accomplished

And a hard pill to swallow

This is your life

And the world around you doesn't give a shit about it

Or you

Reality is a slab of ice

Don't fall and break your hip

denial//futile

you ever get tired of being a witness
to the end of american civilization?
like watching a fat man choke to death
because he ate too fast and chewed too little
before he swallowed

love has become about possessions
and not about two people

the evolution will be ostracized

I’m so tired of the answers being so obvious
being so disgustingly easy
but the problem grows into full blown disease
an epidemic of gold digging whores
and narcissistic dick heads
smelling each others asses

corporatocracy has finally succeeded
the virus killing the host
we have all been divided and conquered
and i had no choice but to abandon them all
when you’re holding the pieces of everything you love
don’t you dare fucking cry
you don’t get to cry
you get to watch it all crumble
and the streets run with blood
before you yourself die

i live in a world of fucking morons
cowards in the deepest sense of the word….

denial

the perfect sound of spinning wheels

oh fellow humans
You mean nothing to me
Stand at each end of the room
And someone is going to decide
That one is better than the other
We have walled off all the truth
And simple nature of things for ourselves
Adapt your surrounding
To fit your need
Because we are too insecure
To adjust ourselves
To our surroundings
How many times have you heard
Someone say
They just can't deal with this

Stagger from room to room
On whatever poison you take
Looking for purpose
In a society of illusions
Find someone who loves you
Or at least thinks they know
How to love at all
Watch the sink hole open up
And the city fall in

Watch the gun men pull the mask
Over his face as he arms himself
Takes aim as he walks passed you
And never utter a sound to alert anyone
Keep walking at a slow and steady pace
As the illusion shatters behind you
In a hail of gunfire
When you lie to yourself
In a myth called society
You build your foundation
On shoddy bricks
When throwing rocks
Inside glass houses
Aim for the ceiling
And do not move an inch
As the shards of glass
Fall faster towards you
And cut you to pieces
We deserve all of this pain we are in

Vermin

Broken people are all I see
Dysfunctions with opposable thumbs
We're dying
Cause we refuse to evolve
Scared little primates with weapons
Of mass distraction
Averting their eyes at the void we are headed towards
While asshole politicians hold their chins above the water
And tell us we're not drowning
Waking up everyday in this towering nest of vermin
Is smothering all the energy from me
Consuming me
Feeding off of me

Something in the New York Air

There's something in the New York air
That smells like fear
And when the wind blows just right
It smells like anger
You can feel the internal furnace turn on
Like any fire you've ever stoked
Roaring to life
You see danger in every pair of eyes
Desperation makes an emotionally unstable human being
Everyone I pass
Looks like an animal ready to pounce

We wonder where the violence comes from
Two days into a new place
And some poor kid gets shot in the back of the head
Mere blocks from my house
And another black kid
Grows to be a man while in prison
The coffers of the local government
Gets fatter and more corrupt
Blood money paid to bastards
Snakes in expensive suits
Drunk on power and insulated by wealth

Trying to get ahead in New York
Is like pushing the rock up the hill
Sysiphus in all his glory
Grins at me
While I push my own rock right next to him
New York is one part shopping mall, one part prison
You gotta break out to get out of here

So I don't feel that I have to explain myself
To fools who have the nerve to ask me
Why I am so angry all the time