hands will shake

cold and humble 

when you realize you're in too deep

kicking yourself for moving with your eyes closed again

this isn't the first and it wont be the last

when every face you see makes your throat close up

and your fists tighten

when tendons in your wrists scream that you've gone too far

but the pain makes it alright for just a second

bearable for only a breath

when you know your heart isn't supposed to beat like that

and your hands have never shaken like that before

but you hope that its finally over and the feeling means something more