Heartbreak and Mental Illness

The pain is nearly unbearable, and those who haven't gone through it have no concept of it. Though, there are certain psychopaths or other pathological people that are numb to feelings that would disregard it, having gone through it and come out the other side saying "It wasn't that bad." My response to that is "I don't think you did it right." The reason that it always hurts so bad, for me, is because I go at it with everything I have in me. I give all that I have to love and relationships and they leave me absolutely disembowled. I've push my guts back into my body, hugged my torso, and ran for dear life so many times that you'd think I would have died by now. 

The torment of a failed love is one of the worst pains I have ever had to endure. It reaches physical pain and ache in the form of not being able to eat or sleep, not being able to get out of bed. It's like all the color is slowly washing out of the world and you're watching this in real time. Everything seems stale and lifeless. Your food has no taste, music has no luster, breathe has no life. It's possible that this is just the perception filtered through the being of a depressive pessimist, but very few things in this world have shook me to my knees easier and harder than love.