Seeping Cracks

It's hard, sometimes, to remember you're still alive
When everyone ignores you
When no one acknowledges your presence
Or looks you in the eye
Strange things happen to the mind

Sit inside yourself long enough
And the outside world doesn't seem worth going back out into
All the horrors of the times
Running rampant and unrestricted
The worst of all junkies
Have a nation of their own
Dogs whimper and cry out in pain
Bones with decaying flesh still on them
Taught and covered in flies

The flowers smell nice but they are still just growing among the weeds
Death is not the problem
Death is a friend
Death is a relief from suffering
Life is, and has always been, the problem

Solid Grey

Everyday I wake up sad and angry
I open my eyes to ache and misery
My muscles argue with me
My chemicals imbalance
The urge to curl into a ball and cry
Is always present
I force myself, through sheer will, to get up
To pull dirty clothes on my ravaged body
To put one foot in front of the other
And try to suppress this feeling
I never wanted any of this
I had no desire for a long life
It was over, for me, not long
After it began
No house, no wife
No picket fence and a dog
No future for my kind
Just a man sized grave
For my eventual bones
I never had it in me to care
I was cursed with a sight beyond sight
To see through the veil
And see it for what it really is
Smoke and mirrors
The only reason I am not dead yet
Is because someone else would be devastated
If I were dead
I cannot hurt someone else
So I hurt myself instead
I remain in agony
To appease other people
Sometimes I’m not sure who’s the bigger coward

Dirtgrub

Your opinion is worth shit to me.
You don’t have the IQ enough
to have an opinion.
Keep your unsolicited counterfeit two cents to yourself
and the rest of the morons stupid enough to listen to you.
You want to start a war,
I’ll bring an entire ocean of warships down on your fucking head.
No one knows there place anymore
Step a toe out of line and you will eat the very ground beneath that line
I’ll feed you to the fucking dogs
You’re gonna learn respect if i have to carve it on your fucking tomb stone
No wash up fucking bitch is gonna tell me up from down
When the gloves come off
And this beast gets out of his cage
I’ll have you drowning in your own tears
You haven’t had a nightmare in your life that can hold a candle to me
Shut your worthless fucking mouth
Lesser people get treated like lesser people
And when you get to big for your britches I will cut you the fuck down like every asshole before you
Try and take me on
Bigger and badder motherfuckers have tried
And all of them failed
The fact that I am even standing here
Is a testament to my strength
And you couldn’t last an hour in what I’ve been through
Know your role
Sit the fuck down
And keep your lips together
Cause nothing that comes from them when they part
Is of any consequence to real life
Here’s a lesson you apparently have to learn the hard way
You’ll need me
Before I ever fucking need you

Plate Tectonics

​

Had to steal a minute just to get some time to myself

Just need to breath and let myself adjust to the pressure

Everything is so hectic and rushed in the morning

It takes me at least an hour to catch up

I'm so tired of feeling like this

Thirty four years

And still such a rotten existence

It's never gone away

There was no truth to be found

It's all just empty space

I'm forced into slave labor

With morons who can barely tie their shoes

Dead eyes and drunken hearts

Anger you can smell in the air

But they all want to be your friend

Keep your enemies close, they say

I don't want to know any of these people

The more I learn about them

The more disgusted I feel

Learning where the bad in them

Finally reared its head, in their lives

Where being a louse had overstayed it's comfort

And real life showed up

The way they handled it

Or let it mangle them

Is where the lines are drawn

Worthless flesh on bones

Dry rot and hollow through

Your lives and watching you live them

Are the cause for my stomach pains

Are the reason I cringe to get out of bed in the morning

All these years later

I still feel so trapped

Snowflakes

​

Gather arm in arm in public places

March on some stupid cause

To make yourselves feel better and nurse your sore ego

Sign petition after petition

And swallow it down

When nothing changes

And your tears haven't moved a single thing

Voice your stupid opinion

Like you're smart enough to have one at all

Sing your outrage as the shock and awe culture stirs it's ugly pot one more time

And hide from the fact that you're all going home empty handed

With nothing accomplished

And a hard pill to swallow

This is your life

And the world around you doesn't give a shit about it

Or you

Reality is a slab of ice

Don't fall and break your hip