the storm had eyes

you hear the sound before the evidence
but theres nothing you can do to change
its coming and it will devastate
you'll end up crumpled in a pile of blankets
wondering where your life has gone
just like everyone else

you're not special
you just think you are
cause thats what they always told you
so that the truth doesn't kill you early
they need you to feed the economy
and reproduce first

what is there to do
when you can't stomach it anymore
your heart is so broken
it barely even beats anymore
but you're a coward
so you can't kill yourself
you're praying for illness
or disease
something to take you out
without the guilt and shame
of it being your own hand

you see the faces of all the people
that care about you
imagine the tears streaming down their faces
caused by whatever atrocity you inflicted on yourself
its like staying in a bad marriage for the kids

these things that you give your life to
will only be cut out from under you
and that hollowness will light a fire in you
that burns the rest of your life to cinders
you have to pick through the rubble
and document what you lost

this is real
this is the rest of your life
an old man getting fatter
still with nothing to his name
barely a roof over his head
or food on his plate
you knew that this was going to be a hard life
you just hoped it wasn't hard like this
kept hoping that something would just come into your life
and make it worth living
but it never did
and the one thing that made you forget
the one thing that soothed that nagging ache
it doesn't do it anymore

stay married for the kids
stay alive for the loved ones
and all thats left to do is rot
first on the inside
then on the outside
and spit rotten words when you speak

rage is only for the good days