we'll use a gag if we have to

we're not supposed to talk about it
we're supposed to go about our day like it doesn't hurt
like it didn't happen
i've used up all my wishes on trying to be happy with you
but the feeling turns my stomach

this is wrong

its never, ever, been right
well i'm fucking saying it
cause i don't pretend everything is ok
this hurts worse than a heart attack
im achy and sore, and my joints hurt to move
let's be honest for one time only in our pathetic lives
it never really goes away
you just put it in the background, like white noise. when you need it.
i miss our good times
but our bad times haunt me, and i get the shakes when i think about them
that will never happen again
and im certain of that now.