cucumber melon

the smell of cucumber melon in the air
reminds me of what it was like to be young and in love
i wish the feeling didnt sicken me, nowadays
back then it was pure and unpoisoned
i think of her, instantly, every time
and the way we destroyed what we had
its like shaking a baby
for years the stomach pains came, on and off
her face enters my mind
and i feel like curling up, fetal style, on the floor
i wish it didnt happen that way
i wish a lot of things
shes damaged and i cant shut my mouth when her malfunctioned parts spark and sputter at me
it was the greatest failure of my life
and it botheres me to this day, 6 years later