i want her. selfishly and indulgently. i want her in my bed at all hours of the morning in my arms watching stupid movies and buzzing off the hum of our bodies together, feeling the electric current through her nerves flicker past my own, separated only by thin layers of skin. i want to shift my body ever so slightly and feel her skin rub against mine. i want to disturb her in her sleep so that she wakes lightly and shifts her weight in my bed. i want to watch her sleep and feel the endorphins flood my body and brain. i want to breath her perfume and find her hair everywhere in my room. i want to run into little things she left over when she's not around, little reminders that she is in my life. i want to wake up in the middle of the night just to pull her closer and wrap my arms around her. i want to lose sleep over her. i want my heart to race. i want to rattle the cages and break this fucking shell forever. i want to dive in head first and never fucking care if i come up for air. i want her tiny body resting on top of mine, just basking in the glow of us, with nothing but the light of the tv to see each other. i want kisses hello, and kisses goodbye. i want a reason to wake up. i want something to give a shit about. i want a muse. i want a reason to write love songs. i want to feel corny, and stupid, and wrapped around her stupid little finger. i want it all, and i miss it more than anything. not even my darkest lows are as bad as they are when im with someone. i just want someone in my life. i've  been alone my whole life, and i am at the point where i can't go on alone anymore. i've reached the end of the one lane road. the loner is lonely, and tired of living like this.