STILL DOING THIS

its funny how after all these years were still doing this
still cutting each others hearts out of our chests
the difference is its starting to hurt
to think i used to enjoy the pain
in any possible way i could get you
that was good enough for me
hello my name is james, and im addicted to her
the smell of her hair, the feel of her breath
the sting only lets me know im still alive
i try to convince myself but ive never been good at lying
im too nervous and jittery but she loves that about me
safe inside with the wolves at the door
build my house from brick and stone just to know i can be alone
theres no such thing as perfection for a wreck like me
never satisfied, all positives tossed aside
so i tell myself its me, accept what i cant change
how can i love her when i dont love myself
well its easy if you try, another voice inside my head replies
if we make it through the fog then we're gonna be alright
im always so scared of dying in the night
so i dont sleep hoping im not wasting away the little time i have
but everythings always such a waste
they should have given my time to someone else